The truth is nothing will change

When you are allowing them back for another try, there is a fear that sets in. A fear of not knowing how it will go. Will things change? Will they be the same?

The truth is nothing will change.

I will just become more lenient and over look a lot. To be honest, in my experience with relationships I have learned one thing people don't change. My sister often tells me, that I have this knack for being with people I feel I can help or change their world for them.

Every guy I have been with has had family issues.
They have all been the black sheep of them family.
They have all been through a horrible past relationship.

I don't know what draws me to these people, but this is where I find myself.

I am a fixer, a make it all better type of person and I take this upon myself many times, feeling I need to make it better or I know how to fix this.

People don't change, I change.

If you are trying to fix a plumbing problem yourself and nothing you try is working, what's the next step?
Call a plumber? Right?

I mean I try to make things right and make things all better, but sometimes people can't be fixed, they just come as they are. This is either accepted or not.

Maybe, my problem is trying to fix someone, maybe my trying to fix someone needs to be fixed.

I should stop doing this, I should not want to fix anyone.
But when you see someone who is lost aren't you going to offer directions?
Do I help or just let it go?

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1 comment:

  1. In my opinion, as well as life history, you can't change or fix another person. That person has GOT to want to change for themselves, and if they don't want it for themselves, or they don't see that they even have a problem, no, they will never change...EVER. On the other hand, I have seen ONE person change. My second husband. In the beginning of our marriage, he became physically abusive a couple of times. Having gone through one of the most traumatic marriages ANYONE could have, before meeting and marrying him 3 years later, I knew that I would NEVER be an abused wife again. So, one night an "incident" occurred, and I told him to leave. I told him that I had already done the whole "abused wife thing" and I would NEVER do it again. He begged and pleaded....I thought long and hard about it for a while. I didn't make him leave while I was doing my thinking, instead I made him leave me ALONE. I didn't let him sit next to me, touch me or even sleep in the same room as I did for about 2 months. Finally, I decided to give it one more try...after telling him that if he EVER laid a hand on me again, I would kill him in his sleep. Yes, I was that vicious about it! He said he totally understood, and he did change. I mean a complete 180! For the rest of our marriage, he didn't even so much as try to bow up at me, and if he said or did anything that made me mad, I let him know about it! Then, I became ill, and as in the comment I left on your other blog, he eventually began an affair and decided he wanted a divorce. But, he was the only example I have ever seen as far as someone really wanting to change. He was a completely different husband! He was very caring, loved my children, and he even adopted them. To this day, he is still their dad, and a grandpa to our two grandchildren. The thing is, I'm actually grateful for him leaving me, because had we never divorced, I wouldn't be married to my first love now, and although we argue at times, he's my true love. So remember, there really are still some men out there that you won't need to fix or change. I believe there is a perfect somebody for everybody! Ya just never know when he'll find you. I've always said, if you're wasting time on Mr. Wrong, Mr. Right will NEVER find you. ;) <3